How to Talk to Your Child’s Teacher About Selective Mutism

Help set your child up for success in the classroom by following these tips for explaining selective mutism to their teachers

Teachers may not be familiar with selective mutism, especially if they haven’t encountered a child with the diagnosis before. If your child has selective mutism, you can help set them up for success in the classroom by sitting down with their teacher and providing some necessary background information about the disorder and how best to interact with your child. Developing a plan will help the child feel comfortable with their teachers, peers, and surroundings. Reach out to your child’s teacher before the school year starts through a letter explaining the basics of your child’s selective mutism diagnosis. From there, you can set up in-person meetings to begin collaborating on your child’s success. Here are some tips about how to explain selective mutism to your child’s teacher.

Learn the Basics

Depending on the teacher’s level of familiarity with this anxiety disorder, you may need to educate your child’s teacher on what selective mutism is and is not. Understanding myths about selective mutism can help your child’s teacher empathize with their struggles and adjust their teaching and assessment methods to help your child succeed. It’s imperative that teachers understand that selective mutism is not shyness, it is not intentional or willful, and it can be debilitating. 

Knowing the basics will help you with how to explain selective mutism as a treatable anxiety disorder. At home, or in reduced-anxiety settings, the child can be talkative and articulate. But in most settings with unfamiliar places or persons, they shut down and will not respond when spoken to. But there’s good news about selective mutism: It’s treatable. And the first step is to communicate your child’s needs with educators. This SMA Toolkit for Educators is a good starting point for sharing evidence-based information and best practices for the classroom. When teachers are given helpful information and research-based techniques to use, it can make a big difference in reducing anxiety on the part of the student with selective mutism while ensuring they progress in their communication goals. 

Remain Positive

Children with selective mutism can be especially sensitive to criticism. Do not punish or guilt-trip the child for their speaking anxieties. If other students comment on their quiet habits, the teacher should remind them that the child is working on their brave talking and needs support and friendship. When the child does speak up or interact in class, offer subtle praise. (“It was brave to smile at Lucy like that,” or “Thank you for helping hand out papers.”)

Encourage Brave Talking

Have your child’s teacher avoid asking yes-or-no questions that allow the child to point or nod instead of responding. Instead, they should help the child use their brave muscles by giving forced-choice questions. For example, “Do you want A, B, or something else?” The teacher should reflect on what they say, and then offer praise—and explain what they are praising. 

Ask that the teacher, as much as possible, keeps social activities light and enjoyable so the child doesn’t feel significant pressure to speak before they are comfortable. Playing games with a verbal component (such as Guess Who?, I Spy, or Spot It) can make brave talking feel less like work.

Establish One-on-One Time

Many children with selective mutism do their best brave talking when they are alone with a new person. Before engaging in school social activities like Show and Tell or participating in a reading group, the child needs to feel comfortable speaking with their teacher alone. As early as possible in the school-year cycle, schedule a private visit with the educator outside of school hours for the purpose of establishing speech. If possible, try to schedule this time before the school year begins so the child can enter the classroom on the first day and have the teacher be a familiar face.

Allow Warm-Up Time and Extra Response Time

Your child will need time to warm up at the beginning of each day and following breaks from school especially longer breaks during the holiday season, spring break, and summer break. During this warm-up time, direct questions should be avoided. Instead, the teacher can make comments about what the child is doing and offer subtle praise if they do communicate.

After a warm-up time, there are a few simple ways to make the child more comfortable. This includes allowing the child extra time to answer questions (at least five seconds) and avoiding direct eye contact when awaiting a response. Staring can make both the teacher and student needlessly uncomfortable.

Collaborate

As a parent, you have been the main selective mutism steward in your child’s life. Now, you will share that role with your child’s educators.  As you open up lines of communication, let your child’s teacher know you are grateful for their support and cooperation. By working together, you will set your child up for long-term success. 

Begin communicating with your child’s educators today. Use this letter to a teacher about selective mutism as a template. You (and your child’s teacher!) can join the Selective Mutism Association for more resources and tips.