Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions

March 2025

Dear SMA Community,

While there is a strong body of evidence supporting the effectiveness of
individual, child-focused behavioral and cognitive-behavioral therapies for
treating youth anxiety, as clinicians, researchers, and caregivers, we know
that even treatments with the strongest research support don’t necessarily
work equally well for every child under every set of circumstances.
Particularly in situations in which children are unable or unwilling to
participate in therapy, Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions
(SPACE), may be a promising alternative to more traditional child-focused
treatment approaches. SPACE, which was developed by Dr. Eli Lebowitz at
the Yale Child Study Center, is a caregiver-focused intervention that
emphasizes changing parental behaviors rather than changing child behaviors
directly. There is growing scientific support for SPACE for anxiety more
broadly, though the effectiveness of SPACE specifically for children with SM
is still being researched.

Adults (including grandparents, babysitters, teachers, coaches!) interacting
with children with SM sometimes tend to fall into well-intentioned patterns
of rescuing and accommodation. In this context, accommodation refers to
behaviors that adults engage in for the purposes of reducing child anxiety.
Examples of accommodating behaviors are endless, but can include ordering
for a child in a restaurant, skipping a child during circle time in class,
emailing a teacher for a child rather than having the child ask the teacher a
question directly, staying with a child during a drop off activity, sleeping in a
child’s room, or driving a child to school rather than having them take the
bus. While these behaviors can be helpful in the short-term, over time they
can inadvertently reinforce anxiety. Changing these behaviors in a
thoughtful, systematic way while simultaneously teaching parents to use
different language when talking to their children about their anxiety are
central components of treatment.

Parents are taught to use supportive statements, which communicate two
key messages, acceptance and confidence. Acceptance refers to showing
empathy and understanding of a child’s emotional experience, and
confidence expresses your belief that your child can handle difficult
situations, even if they feel uncomfortable. For example, “I know you feel
anxious on the bus ride to school, and I know you can get through it even
though you don’t like it” is a supportive statement that includes messages of
acceptance and confidence. In treatment, parents also are supported in
identifying and reducing accommodating behaviors. Making these changes is
not easy, but the SPACE program provides a structured plan that outlines
which behaviors to change, when to implement these changes, who else
will be involved, and what alternative strategies parents can use instead.
In addition, parents will write a letter to their child to inform them of the
new plan. Although some parents may wonder why a letter is necessary,
research shows that it makes the child take the changes more seriously and
helps increase parental follow through.

Parents and professionals interested in learning more about SPACE are
encouraged to read Dr. Lebowitz’s book Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and
OCD or to check out SMA’s recent webinar on this topic, Utilizing SPACE
Treatment to Enhance Therapeutic Outcomes for Selective Mutism, presented by Dr. Alicia Goodman (watch here). The SMA also is sponsoring another SPACE webinar in April, which will be geared more towards parents and caregivers. The webinar is free, and those interested can register here:

How to Help Your Child Cope with Anxiety: A Look at SPACE Training for
Parents and Caregivers.

Sincerely,
Rachel Merson, Psy.D.
SMA Board of Directors